So I’ve learned through the years what kind of drinker I am, I’m a philosopher. When I start drinkin I start over thinkin life and all there is to and in it! Tonight I’m doing something that I don’t do very often, especially on a work night, enjoying a few bottles of wine. As I feel slight buzz and I start to relax I started thinking of course, but I wonder if I’m destined to spend my life alone. And please before yiu all start doing the “no you’ll find someone” thing just take a moment to listen.
Reason One, I am a huge nerd. I’m sure millions of people call themselves that, but I am an obsessive nerd who loves World of Warcraft, I played Pottermore, and I clearly blog about my nerdy obsessions. It gets worse though, I love LARPG, and would happily name my child after my favorite book character. Most people can’t handle my type of nerd.
Reason Two, I am so socially awkward! Most people who meet me think I fit in so well but normally I just BS my way through until I can return to my beloved dungeon (bedroom). I’m 23 and still ask myself where do you meet people? Besides bars or the Internet where do you meet people to date? What is it like to be in a serious relationship? I’m a hermit! I netflix, game, read, and spend my time at home because meeting people is hard.
Reason Three, I have no tolerance for stupid! I work with kids and once I’m off work I don’t have time to deal with someone who acts like a child. Granted I do LOVE to do fun things, but the childish pettiness is not something I can handle. I’m pretty sure you have to have tolerance to deal with people. I have a coworker who is about 4p years my senior and she’s single, never been married, had no kids and is a huge nerd! I’m pretty sure I found my future, which honestly makes me sad.
But as I sit and think about these things I realize how sad they make me, even though I’m actually very happy with my life. I want to be more then the cool aunt, more then the old maid who has dogs, and more then just the nerd who died alone surrounded by her books (not a half bad way to go though). I want to be someone’s Rose, someone’s Irene Adler, I want to be someone’s Always. Maybe one day I’ll find my Doctor, my Sherlock, or my Severus (Him! Yes most definitely him!!!). But I guess until then I’m a nerd who loves her books, loves her job, and loves escaping into a world of fantasy and living a thousand lives.